you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize