I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He shit in the fireplace
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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