Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
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Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
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We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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