Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize