I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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