As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize