So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
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Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
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I got inside last night via doggy door
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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