i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
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A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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