I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I just want to make out with him forever
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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