I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize