then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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