it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
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And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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