i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
only you would photoshop your dick
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize