Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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