I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
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