I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
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She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
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Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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