Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
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we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
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Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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