Texts From Last Night

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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?

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  (603): Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar? http://tfl.nu/vt9e
  Replies (2) Good night (1229) Bad night (438)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh yea! I was just doing that too!

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  (814): I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina. (610): Oh yea! I was just doing that too! http://tfl.nu/grjr
  Replies (10) Good night (850) Bad night (2305)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children

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  (419): this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children http://tfl.nu/wdp5
  Replies (4) Good night (431) Bad night (3440) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself

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  (301): There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself http://tfl.nu/388v
  Replies (50) Good night (593) Bad night (5304) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  or abortion recommendation cards.

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  (405): do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards? (405): or abortion recommendation cards. http://tfl.nu/knt8
  Replies (17) Good night (1081) Bad night (3165)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  i dedicated my morning wood to you.

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  (708): i dedicated my morning wood to you. http://tfl.nu/nbc4
  Replies (17) Good night (5085) Bad night (576) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night

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  (919): So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night http://tfl.nu/maqo
  Replies (23) Good night (3672) Bad night (796) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.

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  (919): i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving. http://tfl.nu/oull
  Replies (26) Good night (7507) Bad night (1722) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.

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  (484): They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again. http://tfl.nu/d9r7
  Replies (10) Good night (1137) Bad night (4032) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass

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  (602): It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass http://tfl.nu/mkro
  Replies (10) Good night (2622) Bad night (1004) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.

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  (701): I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand. http://tfl.nu/l8ik
  Replies (8) Good night (679) Bad night (1972) Order T-Shirt
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.

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  (307): this is worse than the time i threw up a condom. http://tfl.nu/98sx
  Replies (15) Good night (736) Bad night (4796) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."

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  (256): He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment." http://tfl.nu/ioax
  Replies (6) Good night (2043) Bad night (491)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.

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  (202): I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it. http://tfl.nu/m7ga
  Replies (22) Good night (527) Bad night (2034)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.

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  (601): I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status. http://tfl.nu/a1hp
  Replies (1) Good night (355) Bad night (108) Order T-Shirt

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