Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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