Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
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