If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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