my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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