you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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