I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
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