You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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