Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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