please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize