You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
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