She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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