My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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