What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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