Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Sorry about my life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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