I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize