This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
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