just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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