Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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