it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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