you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I think i got beer on your cat.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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