Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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