are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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