I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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