it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize