i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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