Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize