Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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