just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
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I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
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Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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