32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize