Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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