I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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