you mean i was at the winter classic?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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